Restless Love

I met her on the school bus one night. I was stuck doing a make-up test after school, no one bothered to give me a ride, and in matter of fact my parents barely noticed I was alive. So I was stuck riding the late bus. I walked onto the scarred steps, down the scuffed walkway, past tattered seats with graffiti accents. Positioning myself towards the back, where the emergency exit door was. She was sitting there, minding her own business, her eyes darting around, as though searching for something. I leaned over the seats to get a better look at her. Gazing at her in awe.

She wore a small leather jacket, pulled tightly around her. Her slender body appeared weak and defenseless. Her arms folded neatly in front of her. Her long, attractive legs tightly incased with damaged denim, crossed ahead of her. I found myself, awkwardly, fantasizing about her underwear, wondering if they were as black as her appearance. Straying onto her bra, in which I knew, had to be dark as well. Her breasts were in my thoughts immediately. Those big round beauties tightly pulled against me. I found myself creating scenarios about this beauty, fueling the burning passion of lust. Such thoughts caused me to scold myself. She wore a dark eyeliner, and dark eye shadow. I found myself lost in those hazel eyes, and I knew something was wrong with her. Her lips were accented with a charcoal lipstick, smeared on as though it was to intimidate. Lips, I longed to kiss, but knew I never could. Fantasies I wished to play, but knew I shouldn’t.

Casting its rays upon us was the faint light of the bright moon. In a graceful charity, moonlight danced on her frame. She glanced at me, and pulled tighter to the window, her eyes struck with fear. I frowned and leaned back and got lost in thought. Thoughts of her played in my head, fantasies, scenarios, wonder. Wondering what she was doing on the bus tonight? Wondering how her day was at school? Wondering what she would be going home too? Did she have hobbies, goals, dreams, fantasies, desires, anything? I started to become obsessed. Inside me a burning desire. I wanted to know more about her, I had to!  Causing me to want to scream, I curled up and a ball, and cried, silently as obsession filled my head.

I looked out the window at the passing buildings, my interest eating me up inside. It was silent, no turning wheels, screaming motor, loud growls, just the sweet silence of idling. I looked up and saw her, the mystery girl I wanted to know so much about, gracefully, shyly walk off the bus. I stared at her through the window. A fat hairy man came out and yelled at her, such venom filled his words. An older lady was next to him, eyes black from abuse, tears filling them. The mystery women slithered inside in fear. My palms were numb from the cool window pane. Staring at her as her only refuge roared off.

I had quietly crawled into my bed that night, curled up with my dog, crying. What horrible life had she been given? I pulled my pillows tighter to myself and climbed stressfully into a cold slumber. My horrible dreams played in my head. My arms being torn off by vicious creatures with no identity! Blood pooling below my body as though all my veins exploded at once. I dashed awake burning like the midday summer sun, sweat built up on my forehead. I looked around and found my clock. Its display showing, three am. I struggled to fight myself upright. Rubbing my eyes I seek out my pills. I found a dark amber bottle in the light of my clock. Poured out two oval pieces, etched upon them “SLEEP EZ 200mg” I slipped them in my mouth, rose my glass and swallowed the pieces. Instantly I crawled back into bed and feel once again in a tortured sleep.

The sun stung my eyes; I looked around and realized I was running late. I dashed into my bathroom, threw the door shut and splashed my face with cold water, trying to remove the grogginess. I snuck in two caffeine infused tablets and was on my way. Gathering my belongings I snuck onto my bus. I crawled into my seat and began to rest my eyes until my caffeine tablets would take effect. I was rudely awakened by a nudge in the ribs.

There she sat, wearing all black. Her blouse revealing to me her humble cleavage. Accenting her legs a tight black mini-skirt. I managed to force my eyes up to look into her hazel beauties. Darkness engulfed them all, eye shadow, eyeliner, and even restlessness. Her lips as dark as night.

            “I noticed you were looking at me?” she whispered her voice a soft caress.

            “I am sorry about that, I didn’t mean to offend,” I stuttered.

            “No, it was rude of me to back away like that, you see, I haven’t had the greatest past, and I just have accepted that guys were nothing,” she whispered.

            “Can I ask what happened?” I whispered back to her.

            “I suppose so, you see in sixth grade, a guy forced himself onto me, I was dating him at the time. He tossed me against the wall, and forced himself into me. Ever since then, I have been afraid.” She cried.

            “I am so sorry to hear that?” I said.

            “It’s not your fault, but thanks for the encouragement,” she smiled.

            “Hey, um what are you doing after school today?” I asked.

            “Nothing why?” she asked shyly.

            “Want to hang out, take the late bus home tonight?”

            “That sounds like a great idea!”

I found myself realizing, that my desire for her could be satisfied, I might be able to learn a lot about her. After gathering our supplies off the bus I walked her to class. I made a new friend today, someone I had a strange obsession for. I smiled as I sat in my desk. I pulled out my journal and wrote.

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